How to help baby to form independent personality?

Don't make baby become "strawberry race".

Everybody says that modern babies are like beautiful strawberries. They are lovely and attractive from their appearance, but as soon as they were touched or trampled, they will be mashed. Do you often feel that as long as the baby encountered setbacks, he flinched immediately or become angry and he is devoid of patience for settling the problems; or his personality is dependent, he is too lazy to do everything, and asks for help at any time.

The degree of frustration tolerance has a big impact on baby’s future

Modern parents are often very busy and usually compensate babies with substance for not time accompany with babies. Therefore, babies form the mood that they can get what they want, but never cherish. Furthermore, parents do not have patience or time to wait for babies to do the things right slowly, they do everything for babies. So babies lose their chances to try and solve, and as time passes, babies form the personality of lack of patience and don’t know what to do when encounter the frustration.

The height of endurance against frustration, besides the congenital individuality, the postnatal influence from parents is also very big. For example, when baby tumbled, parents said that it was because of the uneven floor, we should beat the floor. Or parents may blamed the incaution of baby and aggravated the sorrowful emotion to baby. These behaviors do not help baby to learn the right method of facing failure when he failed.

Baby meets troubles and frustrations anytime while he is growing up. Such as the interpersonal relationship between him and his classmates, new assignment, new acqierement etc. If baby’s tolerance against frustration is high and when he encounters the problem, he can accept the failure, overcome it, solve the problem and walk towards his goal; contrarily, baby’s endurance against frustration is low, and when he encounters the problem, he will flinch, angry and give up. Then in the study aspect, he may become low achievement, not self-confident and form the poor interpersonal relationship.

How to foster baby’s endurance against frustration

Baby is expected to have a good endurance against frustration and it should be step by step. When baby encounters frustration, parents should guide him to find out the reasons of frustration, accompany him to analyze other methods of improvement, suggest him to try one more times. And when baby finds that many problems can be solved, his self-confidence will be built up and in the future, he won’t be beat up by the frustration easily. For example, when study new assignment, he may not understand at the beginning, but baby who has high endurance against frustration will ask his teacher or parents, try again or see how his classmates do, instead of get angry immediately or give up.

1. Don't promise baby without thinking: Adults often failed to keep the promises will make baby lose confidence in promise and adult's words.
2. Don't expect baby's ability excessively: Don’t make baby think that he is absolutely the No.1 or something else. Because inflate baby’s ability excessively will make him think that only he got No.1, parents will love him; and if he cannot achieve or fail, then parents and teachers will not love him anymore. Under this circumstance, he is unwilling to face frustration and failure.
3. Don’t deprive the chances of attempt: Don’t be afraid of baby’s failure and just let him try. The experiences of failure in childhood will not cause any big loss, it will help baby to know it is not a big deal when he failed. Otherwise, when he is growing up, small setback may become a big stone, baby doesn’t believe that he has the ability to move the stone away.

The Importance of independence

Each baby will be independent eventually, and the time of being independent may follow the development of his physiology. For example, encourage baby to learn walking about one year old, this is the right time to learn to be independent; encourage baby to enter kindergarten to have collective life, to learn how to get along with others. Parents should give baby a warm environment, that is to say during the process of learning independence, baby may feel pleasure, satisfaction and no excessive force. Each time when baby accomplished one more thing by himself, it is the performance of becoming independent.

1. Do everything by himself according to his growth

Many parents (especially grandparents) may think that babies are too young to do things by themselves. They are used to do things or solve the problems for their babies. Therefore, they foster many babies who have no definite ideas and are unable to eat or put on the shoes by themselves.

The independent activities of daily life are the first step of baby's growth. Parents are suggested to follow the process of his growth, encourage him to do each thing by himself. At the beginning, baby must be inexperienced and faulty, but parents should give baby some times and demonstrate the right method to baby. And you will find that baby is doing better and better.

2. Independent thought can not be ignored

Besides the independent behavior, mature thought is also very important. If baby can make judgments and decisions by himself from childhood and at the same time responsible for his own choice, and in future study, he doesn’t need his parents to surveil him momentarily; he will do his own job perfectly.

He must be independent in thought. Parents must let baby learn how to arrange himself, identify with himself and make the best judgment of himself. In the process of growth, parents or teachers must play a role of guidance and demonstration, because baby will imitate and observe the adult's methods and become his own behaviors. For example, parents can always clean up the house smoothly, and baby will try to use the method he observed to clean up his toys or table.

How to foster baby’s independence

1. Spend more time with baby: Let your baby establish self-independence on emotion, make him thinks that parents are the object which worthy of study and imitation. And baby will go forward the direction which parents hoped.
2. Let baby play more games: Games will make baby more flexible on movements, more sensitive on reaction, faster in learning things and more confident.
3. Enrich baby’s life experience: If baby wants to have adequate abilities of judgment and solving problems, he must have abundant life experiences first, and then he can find means to face the new challenge.